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The words we use sometimes are misconstrued.

April 15, 2010

Today I read a new blog (new to me) that made me want to write again because his writing is so goddamn good. I take this as a good sign, that good writing generally inspires me to write rather than showing me that I will never, ever be as good.

But then I look back at that last paragraph, and I used the word “good” four times. And then I realize that it’s not even a paragraph, it’s a sentence. One sentence. Four times.

I can’t write anymore, y’all. Maybe it’s a phase. I can’t even write about how I can’t write. I’m not blocked. I’m just nothing. Not a writer. Never was.

Also, there’s all those mistakes I don’t want to repeat.

NYEG and I decided not to move in together. He’s never lived with someone he was romantically involved with before, and I didn’t know if he was fully aware of what he was getting himself into, so I came to him to have the “but what about this?” conversation. There were a lot of “this”es.

At the end of it, I was pretty sure I’d freaked him out. He swore he wasn’t freaked out (pretty sure he was), but if I had doubts, then maybe we should just wait a little while to take that step. I told him I don’t have doubts, but I wasn’t sure that he didn’t. These words we were saying didn’t make sense to each other, so we dropped the conversation, and every once in a while now he jokes about how he won’t let me move in with him.

I’m trying to get him to sing/play a duet with me. He seemed open to it at first, but now I’m not so sure. I learned my part, anyway.

One Comment leave one →
  1. April 16, 2010 11:26 am

    I’m glad you two decided not to move in together, though I think it’s a conversation you need to have again, one where you can actually HAVE the conversation. Plus, given his name is NYEG, why would you consider moving in with someone you’ve been dating for 4 months? How could you be ready for this when you’re only getting used to being independent?…

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