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Rejection.

December 16, 2009

So, it’s been six years since I’ve dated. And when I did date six years ago, I was 1. hotter, 2. aloof, and 3. carefree. All of these things made the process much easier and far less painful than what I’m experiencing right now.

Before, I generally just floated around dating men (boys) who were interested in me. I never had the experience of pursuing anyone, because I’d never been single for long enough to care about finding anyone. Also, I’d never met anyone I was really interested in. I always did the breaking up in my relationships.

Therefore, I was never rejected. This worked well enough as a coping strategy, but the rejection has finally happened, and it’s been tough.

Guy Who Works on My Floor, I’m talking about you.

After the horrifying experience in my bedroom, I’ve hardly heard anything from him. Maybe a text and IM or two, and some comments on my Facebook wall. But I’ve definitely been rejected in a big way, and for a while there I wasn’t handling it very well. Namely, I came to the conclusion that I must be crazy and undateable. Which may or may not be the logical conclusion.

However, it’s been over a month now, and the sting of the blow has finally worn off a bit. And, remarkably, we haven’t even run into each other at all, despite the fact that our companies’ offices share the same half of the same floor of the same building. This coincidence is too great, since we used to see each other at least once a week in our shared kitchen. I suspect he’s hiding from me, since I’m definitely not hiding from him.

But, just in case we ever do run into each other, I’ve been rehearsing a conversation that might take place if he ever tries to ask me out again.

Case in point:

Me, through Facebook status: I’m going to spend the night hiding from the world.

GWWOMF: Do you mind if I hide with you?

Me: Funny, I thought that you’ve spent the last month communicating to me that you’re not interested.

GWWOMF: Oh. I thought I spent the last month not communicating at all.

Me: Exactly.

There are variations on this, of course, but I always get the punchline.

And, of course, this conversation would never happen in real life. Partly because he’s too clever to respond the way I have him responding here (and would never give me the punchline), but also because clearly he’s never going to ask me out again.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. December 17, 2009 8:20 am

    My ex has never been broken up with, he’s always the one who has done the breaking up and I’ve often wondered what it would be like for him to be on the other side. I think you have to see both sides – both the rejecting and the rejection -to have a balanced idea of relationships. Once someone understands what it’s like to be rejected – I think they become more careful with other people’s feelings.

    Glad to see you writing again. I think you’re lovely and neither crazy nor undateable 🙂

  2. December 21, 2009 3:36 pm

    i agree with julienne…so EXCITED to see you writing again. and you are neither crazy nor undateable. it takes awhile.

    also…about the below post. my engagement/wedding rings cost $1500 and three years later was stolen by an asshole who shoved a gun in my face. so, there’s that… maybe it’s the tightwad in me but if my significant other spent $20k on a ring for me i would smack him because $20k could have been a down payment on a house…or better yet, a marvelous vacation.

  3. kindred spirit permalink
    December 24, 2009 9:08 pm

    CG, Merry Christmas. My thoughts are with you, as always. May the New Year bring new and happy adventures for you.

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