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Days Ten and Eleven

September 23, 2009

A friend of mine suggested that, as a way to make my blog a little less depressing, I should start listing happy things and then, if necessary, ending posts with a simple “no.” I guess the idea is that even if the happy things don’t top the bad things for that particular day, at least there are happy things.

He also said that he expects me to begin blogging about cutting myself any day now. Duly noted. P.S. I don’t cut myself.

Things really aren’t THAT bad. I mean, just today two men asked me out on dates. Of course, I cannot in good conscience accept these dates, but it is nice to be asked. Maybe someday I’ll be asked and I’ll get to say yes. Or maybe someday I’ll be asked and I’ll feel really good about saying no, because the only guy I want to date already has me all booked up for the rest of my life.

Clearly, my idealism when it comes to relationships hasn’t been ruined.

So happy things.

I got to wear my boots, the best riding boots in the whole wide world, because it was in the sixties for the first time since March. A girl in my office broke her boots out the second the calendar flipped to September, but as it was still 95 degrees then, I refused to wear mine and just admired hers. But my day has come.

The friendships in my life have really been flowering lately, and I’m grateful for each and every one of these women. They are all hilariously funny, intelligent AND beautiful. Only two of them have blogs, so I’ll only link to two of them here. But they are all fantastic. And they need me sometimes just as much as I need them, and that makes me feel like less of a train wreck and more like just a regular old person. Which, yep, is a good thing.

Last night my friend T (mentioned above) took me out for drinks (good thing), and while I waited on his late ass, I smoked a cigarette and drank a martini and thought about the developments of the last week or so. And I felt really calm as I thought about them. And, woo boy, is this a good thing. Usually I’m frantic as hell when I’m trying to come to grips with the fact that perhaps I really just don’t like my husband enough to be married to him.

Ugh. But it’s still hard to type it.

Two more “no”s, but also some good things. So there, T.

One Comment leave one →
  1. kindred spirit permalink
    September 23, 2009 7:00 pm

    Good friends are gold. Staying positive will help. When you see what you don’t want, you then know what you DO want. Seek what you DO want.

    kindred spirit

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