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Day Two: No

September 13, 2009

Moving  continued, and I seriously messed up my right shoulder by carrying too much with only my right arm. It now hurts to hold anything more than 1 lb. at shoulder height.

I spent the bulk of the day with KTC. C got angry every time I did anything but hang out with him.

By the end of the night, I felt so very tired, and as I anticipated the week ahead of me, I realized that whenever I got tired I could go home and be alone for a few hours. But now I don’t have a home to flee to, and I no longer have control of when I get to be home alone and for how long.

C demands a lot of my time. I’m feeling somehow like I’ll never feel well-rested again. Tired on top of tired.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. juliennejiggs permalink
    September 14, 2009 4:01 pm

    I remember in an older post you mentioned that C was really needy and that still seems to be there. Has he worked on this at all?

  2. juliennejiggs permalink
    September 14, 2009 4:02 pm

    And I just realized that your blog theme is called “Vigilance”. Very fitting my dear.

  3. September 14, 2009 9:34 pm

    Why hasn’t C worked on any of the things you wanted (needed!) changed in the relationship? He’ll continue to drain you… It won’t be pretty… =(

  4. September 15, 2009 8:20 pm

    Have you thought about communicating the fact that you need time everyday to be alone and recharge to him? My husband and I have an agreement that when I come home from work, other than saying hi to each other, we don’t speak until I’m ready. Sometimes this is 10 min and sometimes it is 2 hours. I just can’t be bombarded with attention and questions and talking after work. I just have to sit. And stare at a wall. Or read. Or watch tv. Or just… lay there.
    He understands that I am not trying to be mean and it’s not that I don’t care about his life, I just need time. More time than he does. To recharge. And once I am re-booted, I am happy to hear about his day and tell him about mine. Just a suggestion, though I am sure you don’t need it.

    I mean, I have no doubt that you’ve communicated that he can’t be as needy… but maybe starting small, with just an hour a day of alone time, might help.

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